The Capezio shoes are back! I just danced around my room like a crazy lady to 70's disco. "Take your passion and make it happen!"

I felt GREAT! I'm terribly out of shape and dripping sweat but it felt amazing to get the blood pumping. Thank you Village People!

Shower time. Then Starbucks. Then Soho for work. Hope my energy stays up for the girls.

Just finished a late breakfast of 2 eggs with avocado slices and blueberries. I chugged down my liquid vitamins, popped a resveratrol and drank a full glass of water. I plan to take a little jog down by the Hudson in a bit. My dance sneakers are still staring at me.

Music always motivates me. I just put on "American Boy" by Estelle. Gotta little bounce going. I think I will make a 20 minute dance mix and start my dance training right here in my apartment.

I have to organize my room and clear a dance space. Stevie Wonder's "Positivity" will help with the process.

When I see the morning
And the sun is smiling down upon you
Just joy in the blessing
That still the ground is not above you
And for the people
That you can truly say do love you, do feel
Positivity, 'cause that's what life's meant to be

Positivity, and that's the energy the world needs

I feel healthier than I have in years. The fuel I have been giving my body is miraculously beneficial. It is amazing what all natural foods can do for your mind. I feel so good. Now that I feel complete and caught up in my nutritional needs, I must incorporate my goal of at least 20 minutes of exercise/day.

P.S. Blueberries and Sundrops make me delightfully happy.

Two days left of my 27th year. I feel .... old ... but also as if life hasn't even started in some ways. I realized tonight that I have been afraid to dance all my life. Afraid of judgement. Afraid of negativity.

When I was a young girl, my neighbor (and at the time... idol) was a beautiful dancer and I looked up to her in so many ways. When I was only 10, she told me I wasn't good at dance and should only stick to singing. Heartbroken and foolishly discouraged, I did what she said.

It is only now that I realize I have true potential as a dancer if I can only conquer my fear. I have had to dance/move in most of the shows I have done, but I have never been fully comfortable. Never been free. I know it's a matter of practice and that I must start taking lessons again, but this creature fear just stares blankly out of the full length mirror when I try. I truly believe that all I have ever wanted is to be in full control of my body on stage. To express my soul through not only my acting and voice, but also my body.

It is time for me to make a decision. This is a challenge I have waited too long to face. The insecure young girl in morning ballet classes at the Hartt Conservatory is now just a shadow. My capezio dance sneakers have been staring at me for much too long. Tomorrow, I will put them to use again. Right now, I release the past and begin my new life as a dancer.

I noticed a young guy hanging out his window this morning drinking a red stripe and smoking a cigarette. Breakfast of champions! 

I can't judge. I have had mornings of my own. But today, I am happy with my shake and egg whites. 

Packing for the Hamptons. So excited to see the girls. 

I'm on a health kick. Though I've been trying to jump start it for months, it officially started a few weeks ago when my friend Alicia came home from the national tour of Wicked. She's the dance captain and one of my most treasured friends so I had to chat with her about how she sustains her energy levels. She gave me a few tips. It's basically all about using the gifts of the earth to charge you up! I'm going to start running again. I want to get my body into incredible physical shape this summer. It's something I've never stuck to. I'm such a yo-yo. My boss, Jenn, says "small goals to start." I'm thinking just 30 mins of exercise/day and a healthy, colorful diet.

I've been taking two teaspoons of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar every night for the past few weeks now. I used to take it just while I was doing shows for it's throat benefits, but now I'm taking it for energy and it's anti-bacterial properties. Though it might be all in my head, I feel as though it cleans my body from the inside out. My skin has cleared up dramatically and I wake up feeling a bit more energized. The taste is wretched for most people but I've acquired it. In the morning, I take liquid vitamins and resveratrol (which I may have to stop taking because it's been giving me a headache!) and I try to load up on the potassium. I'm also drinking up to ten glasses of water/day which is amazing considering the fact that I hardly EVER drank water in my earlier years.

I feel great! So far, so good. 

Alicia also was my yoga instructor/dance captain on the European tour of Jesus Christ Superstar. She helped me immensely in stretching my soul into my body. I have no idea why I stopped taking yoga and think it's time for me to get back to it. I have never felt so healthy or present as I did when I was doing it. It will also help me with my dancing which I plan to start rocking out. She's a dance dance dance dance dancin' machine watch her get down...... 

I am so very much looking forward to my time on the Hamptons. Four weeks! Though I'll be working a lot, I'm looking forward to some sun and ocean time. I'm also looking forward to observing the people there. Working in Soho has given me the slightest taste. Oh boy oh boy!

I spent the past few days at home with my parents in Massachusetts. It was a startling visit for several reasons. One, I realized that we are an inescapable combination of our two parents. Two, well, that's startling enough. Though I've always known this, it had never been more apparent than it was during this visit. I even unconsciously tuck my thumb under my index finger exactly like my mother. The fears I have. The courage. All theirs! My four brothers and I are five little mixtures of Jim and Elaine. Okay. Thank you, Captain Obvious! But seriously, sometimes it just hits you in this funny, happy way. I hear myself thanking one of them after so many of the things I say.

They told me about their recent trip to Ireland. I sat with them on the couch in our living room and looked at pictures on the t.v. We drank wine and I listened to stories. They met angels, ancestors, and the spirit of the earth. They brought back music and crystal, plaques and jewelry. The biggest treasure I find is in their eyes. The way they tell the stories together. Filling in details for each other. My mother uses her brogue to excess which makes me laugh. Then my father does it. Then it switches. I join them with my own and somehow in the deep of the night, the air rich with the burning peat my father brought back, our sweet house seemed to relocate to the hills of the Country where my ancestors sang.

vi·brant  (vbrnt)

adj.

1.

a. Pulsing or throbbing with energy or activity: the vibrant streets of a big city.

b. Vigorous, lively, and vital: "a vibrant group that challenged the . . . system" (Philip Taubman).

2. Exhibiting or characterized by rapid, rhythmic movement back and forth or to and fro; vibrating.

3. Produced as a result of vibration; resonant or resounding: vibrant voices.

4. Relatively high on the scale of brightness: a vibrant hue.