Two days left of my 27th year. I feel .... old ... but also as if life hasn't even started in some ways. I realized tonight that I have been afraid to dance all my life. Afraid of judgement. Afraid of negativity.

When I was a young girl, my neighbor (and at the time... idol) was a beautiful dancer and I looked up to her in so many ways. When I was only 10, she told me I wasn't good at dance and should only stick to singing. Heartbroken and foolishly discouraged, I did what she said.

It is only now that I realize I have true potential as a dancer if I can only conquer my fear. I have had to dance/move in most of the shows I have done, but I have never been fully comfortable. Never been free. I know it's a matter of practice and that I must start taking lessons again, but this creature fear just stares blankly out of the full length mirror when I try. I truly believe that all I have ever wanted is to be in full control of my body on stage. To express my soul through not only my acting and voice, but also my body.

It is time for me to make a decision. This is a challenge I have waited too long to face. The insecure young girl in morning ballet classes at the Hartt Conservatory is now just a shadow. My capezio dance sneakers have been staring at me for much too long. Tomorrow, I will put them to use again. Right now, I release the past and begin my new life as a dancer.